No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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