Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
