Plan B is the new Plan A
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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