I'm going to jail i love you
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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