So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
