we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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