The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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