I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
