I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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