Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
