Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
