Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize