I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
