I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
