She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
whose parrot is this?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
