wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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