Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
