Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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