It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
