sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
