Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
