Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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