How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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