I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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