they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
