how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
