Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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