just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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