what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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