i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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