Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
