He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Mom said you looked used
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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