so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just found puke in my bra..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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