I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Screwed.edu
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
