You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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