My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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