Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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