I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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