I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
