your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
