Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize