I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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