so explain again why im purple
no
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My bed is full of blood and feathers
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
