so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
