your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
