Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
