she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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