I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
