i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
