dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
