So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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