I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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