What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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