he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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