can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
