bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
