I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
