Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
