So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
