umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize