he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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