I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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