It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's shark week go big or go home
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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