the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i think i just lost a toe
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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