You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
