I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
